I’ve accumulated data confirming a 65% increase in the use of car horns at the corner of Murray Ave. and Bartlett St. between June and August. Normal increases attributable to heat in this period are around 30%. Also noticed is an abnormal proliferation of cowboy and mafia type hats, a clear indication of lawlessness. On a side note, there have been reports of tumbleweeds in Polish Hill. Responsible bar goers, normally capable of moderate consumption, are finding it more and more difficult to stop drinking. With both their drinks and their marriages on the rocks, they find themselves drawn into increasingly inane conversations about how stupid or wonderful everyone is. As critical opinions of the locals steep in spirits so too their gall. It’s not unheard of for those unaccustomed to their own prejudices to take a swing at innocent bystanders.